Truth: Time is precious. More precious than I could have ever even imagined.
I never thought I would would reach a certain age and feel like I needed time to slow down, I love the progression of life and change. However, recent events have a way of making a person realize that life moves much too quickly.
Last year I became Jeremiah's wife, twice. You read that correctly, twice.
We made the decision to elope in a courthouse ceremony on a Tuesday in very early February last year. It was the most exhilarating and wonderful moment of my life. We both took a half day from work. I wore my favorite dress, he wore his ACUs. We didn't tell our parents, only the two friends that were our witnesses that day.
It didn't feel real because I had never been that happy in a single moment, ever.
Our relationship had it's ups and downs prior to this, but we never stopped wanting "us" regardless of circumstance. We always find our way back to each other, and we always will.
Our "official" wedding date was in early May. Nothing seemed to be going the way we had hoped it would for our big day... we were tempted so many times to just drop the whole thing and take a honeymoon, which we probably should have (hindsight is 20/20). The pictures turned out great, we looked great. It was a beautiful day that will be forever remembered.
I am so lucky that I got to marry my prince not once, but twice.
Newness: I love being his wife. I love being called his wife. I love calling him my husband. I love sharing his last name. I love that some day we will have little people that share our combined DNA and call us "Mom" and "Dad." I love being married. I love that half of our closet is his camouflage and the other half is my dresses.
It's nearly a year later and I still love all of these things.
We never had an official honeymoon. Our wedding was on a Saturday and I flew out (alone) to be with my grandmother down South as she was just diagnosed with colon cancer. I stayed down there for a week after the May wedding.
Life didn't stop because we got married... but we really needed it to. We needed some time to settle into being married and actually enjoy each other, but that didn't happen. We let our communication break down and nearly destroy us.
We needed time. Time to grow up. Time to figure out if this is what we really wanted.
Nothing about our relationship has ever been easy, except for the part where we love each other (that has never been a question). We fought so hard against each other that we couldn't find a middle ground, until we finally did.
I would rather fight with this man than be with anyone else, bottom line.
Reality: MARRIAGE IS HARD.
I have never loved anyone the way that I love my husband, and I doubt I will ever love anyone like this ever again. I am so grateful for the opportunity to love someone in such a deep and passionate way.
A single smile from this man can instantly melt me into a puddle.
A harsh word can cut me so deep that I'm not sure if I'll ever recover.
I know that no marriage can survive without God, and I'm holding fast to that belief. I thank God everyday for Jeremiah. I also ask God to help me to hold back my sarcastic comments and sometimes nagging tactics... because we all know that doesn't do anyone any good in a marriage.
I want my marriage to be strong before we have kids. I want my kids to know that their Daddy loves their Mama. I want them to know that their parents love the Lord.
If I've learned anything, I've learned that every moment is precious. Even the moments we think are dull or mundane, find the precious in that moment.
Time IS precious.
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