Time is Precious

Cliche: Time is precious.

Truth: Time is precious. More precious than I could have ever even imagined.

I never thought I would would reach a certain age and feel like I needed time to slow down, I love the progression of life and change. However, recent events have a way of making a person realize that life moves much too quickly. 

Last year I became Jeremiah's wife, twice. You read that correctly, twice.

We made the decision to elope in a courthouse ceremony on a Tuesday in very early February last year. It was the most exhilarating and wonderful moment of my life. We both took a half day from work. I wore my favorite dress, he wore his ACUs. We didn't tell our parents, only the two friends that were our witnesses that day. 

It didn't feel real because I had never been that happy in a single moment, ever. 

Our relationship had it's ups and downs prior to this, but we never stopped wanting "us" regardless of circumstance. We always find our way back to each other, and we always will.

Our "official" wedding date was in early May. Nothing seemed to be going the way we had hoped it would for our big day... we were tempted so many times to just drop the whole thing and take a honeymoon, which we probably should have (hindsight is 20/20). The pictures turned out great, we looked great. It was a beautiful day that will be forever remembered.

I am so lucky that I got to marry my prince not once, but twice. 

Newness: I love being his wife. I love being called his wife. I love calling him my husband. I love sharing his last name. I love that some day we will have little people that share our combined DNA and call us "Mom" and "Dad." I love being married. I love that half of our closet is his camouflage and the other half is my dresses. 

It's nearly a year later and I still love all of these things. 

We never had an official honeymoon. Our wedding was on a Saturday and I flew out (alone) to be with my grandmother down South as she was just diagnosed with colon cancer. I stayed down there for a week after the May wedding. 

Life didn't stop because we got married... but we really needed it to. We needed some time to settle into being married and actually enjoy each other, but that didn't happen. We let our communication break down and nearly destroy us.

We needed time. Time to grow up. Time to figure out if this is what we really wanted. 

Nothing about our relationship has ever been easy, except for the part where we love each other (that has never been a question). We fought so hard against each other that we couldn't find a middle ground, until we finally did. 

I would rather fight with this man than be with anyone else, bottom line. 

Reality: MARRIAGE IS HARD.

I have never loved anyone the way that I love my husband, and I doubt I will ever love anyone like this ever again. I am so grateful for the opportunity to love someone in such a deep and passionate way. 

A single smile from this man can instantly melt me into a puddle.

A harsh word can cut me so deep that I'm not sure if I'll ever recover. 

I know that no marriage can survive without God, and I'm holding fast to that belief. I thank God everyday for Jeremiah. I also ask God to help me to hold back my sarcastic comments and sometimes nagging tactics... because we all know that doesn't do anyone any good in a marriage. 

I want my marriage to be strong before we have kids. I want my kids to know that their Daddy loves their Mama. I want them to know that their parents love the Lord. 

If I've learned anything, I've learned that every moment is precious. Even the moments we think are dull or mundane, find the precious in that moment. 

Time IS precious.

New Year, New me

Cliche: It's a new year and a new me... 

Truth: I don't want to be a new me, I like me... I want to be an improved me, Lacey 2.0 if you will. I want to work on the things that I always thought I was too busy to do before. 

2015 was a whirlwind of events, a plethora of defining moments: new apartment, rekindled love, became a wife for the second time, became an aunt, lost my job, and forgot who I was... 

The loss of my job was unfortunately the moment that I allow define me and how I allowed myself to spiral out of control. I became riddled with anxiety, doubt, depression, self-hatred and weight gain... all things I said I would never allow to rule me ever again. 

As 2015 came to a close I realized that I was the only person in control of the things I allow into my life, including how I felt about myself, my family, my career. I began thinking about the moments in my life that I was the happiest: when I was the healthiest. Healthy mentally, emotionally, physically, financially. Those moments were all when I was focused on my relationship with God and all the other stuff just fell into place. 

A few years ago I had the pleasure of working with Kansas City Fitness Magazine as a hair/makeup artist for their "Biggest Loser" style competition. I was so inspired that I signed up to do the next round. Through that program I learned so much about nutrition, fitness and myself... I also made some really fantastic friendships and contacts. Two coaches/trainers really spoke volumes to me, Jen and Tristan. They were so fit and beautiful... and they knew their shizz. I lost touch with them after the challenge was over, but with the magic of social media I was able to reconnect. 

Jen reached out to me about a challenge group this past summer and I was all in... I mean, I drug my feet a bit to get there but when I got there I was definitely all in.  Well, I was in until I let life take over. The program was 21 Day Fix. Jen provided me with some great coaching and I was doing pretty darn well, I made it to day 17 and had already lost 11 inches... that was crazy awesome!! I started coaching right away because I was so excited to share this amazing program, I was promoted to the second level of coaching (Emerald) within less than a month. And then life happened.

I gave up. 

Jen and Tristan never stopped reaching out to me, never stopped encouraging me. And here I am now, ready to get back in the saddle. This journey is mine and I'm going to rock at it. 

Newness: Here are the things that I'm working on for me, in the new year that is 2016: 

1. gratitude

2. bible study and prayer life

3. personal health 

4. personal development

5. helping others/volunteering

Priorities and goals have always eluded me... I've had them, don't get me wrong but I think I've had them a little out of order. Today's sermon at church was all about priorities and it spoke volumes to me on every level. 

Pastor talked about distractions (anxiety, depression, anything that distracts), if your priorities are in order the distractions won't be distractions. Whoa! That was a major eye opener for me... guess I know where I'll be putting in some time this week, month, year. 

At the close of service during invitation the praise and worship band performed a song that nearly brought me to tears, I wish I could recall the title... but I can tell you the words that continue to ring in my head at this moment "bear your cross as you wait for your crown." MIND BLOWN. No need for details, I'm just going to leave that there for you to ponder. 

Reality: As the weekend comes to a close and I reflect on everything that was today (including a KC Chiefs win!) I am humbled. I am tired. I am prepared for the next week's battles. Bring it Monday, God's got this.